Release Childhood Trauma
If everybody would realize how many of our unwanted patterns stem from childhood, this alone would bring a major shift in consciousness in the world.
Do you realize that all behavior patterns, no matter if it is coming out of a trauma or not, come from your childhood? Everything you are is a result of your early childhood. We can release these patterns if we want by being conscious about them. I can show you everything I know on how to release your patterns. Children, especially highly sensitive children, can easily by wounded and traumatized, one by bad things happening to them and two by good things like proper attunement to the parents not happening to them. It doesn’t always need a huge stress or a very bad thing to happen to be traumatized as a child. The little everyday things happening can traumatize the same way as the big things can. I call them traumas of everyday life. Trauma is not what happened to us, but what happened inside us as a result. Big-T traumas are referring to significant, life-changing events that are bringing severe emotional or psychological stress. Small-t traumas refer to everyday experiences that might not seem traumatic on the surface, but still cause emotional distress and impacts your well-being over time. These events can accumulate and can have significant effects.
Big-T trauma is barely on the medical radar screen while small-t trauma does is not even found by the radar yet. The impact trauma has on our behavior and the world is mind-blowing. Trauma disconnects us not only from our bodies but also from the world. It is isolating and lonely because it makes you feel not seen and not heard. Working on your traumas is crucial to find your way back into life at all, the more into a happy life. The good thing is that trauma is not the event itself, it is how it makes us feel. We can change this. We can work on this, and you can change your life. Change your mind, change your life.
How the mind works with trauma
Trauma changes our life view. When you work on your mind, you can change your perception of life again.
Life brings us as often as you can think to big and small crossroads where we either release trauma or create trauma or add on to trauma. Trauma changes our worldview. Once trauma is in your system you see the world with pain, fear, and suspicion. Trauma determines how we see things and it takes us away from the present moment. Because each time a present moment event triggers our trauma, we are back in the past. Trauma keeps us stuck in the past. We cannot react to the present moment and only see the bad and evil in everything. Trauma disconnects us from ourselves. The good news is you can heal trauma. Because, remember, trauma is not what happened to you but what happened inside of you. So when you change your reactions to the events triggering trauma, then you can change your mind and with this you can change your life. It sounds simple and it really is. Just the implementation into your daily life takes time, so the neurons in your brain can form new connections again. When the neurons in your brain form new connections, you see the world differently again. I promise it is possible to release trauma and start a new life. I’ve seen this change happening many times. This change also happened in myself as well. So I know it works from my own experience.
Symptoms of childhood trauma
You can help your child release the trauma when you see the signs. The earlier the better.
Childhood trauma can have long-lasting effects on a child’s emotional, psychological, and physical development. The symptoms can vary depending on age, nature of trauma, personality and the support received. The symptoms can even carry into adulthood. The earlier we can release trauma and help our children release trauma the easier your child will have it in life.
Here are some symptoms to look out for in your child:
- anxiety and fear, constant worry, panic attacks, fear of abandonment;
- depression;
- low self-esteem, withdrawal from social interactions;
- lack of motivation;
- emotional regulation is not working, like intense mood swings, outbursts of anger;
- guilt and shame, feeling responsible for everything, including for your own trauma, shame about yourself, your body;
- negative believes, like “I’m unworthy” or “I’m bad”;
- trust issues, having trouble trusting other people, fear of closeness, tendency to push people away;
- dissociation, feeling detached, memory gaps;
- Post-Traumatic Stress (PTSD) Symptoms, memories of traumatic events, nightmares, avoidance of people and places reminding you of the trauma;
- behavioral symptoms, like acting out on others, yelling, hitting, bullying, self-destructive behaviors like cutting or substance abuse, oppositional or defiant behavior;
- behavior that is age-wise inappropriate;
- difficulty with authorities, ignoring rules, disobedience;
- isolation, lack of peer contact, avoiding friendships and social interaction;
Repressed Memories
If anyone tells you they had a happy childhood, you can be pretty sure that this is not true. They either forgot or repressed.
Repressing memories is an unconscious survival mechanism that helped you at one point in your life. When something is so overwhelming that your brain cannot handle it, it may choose to bury the memory to protect you from intense emotional pain, fear, or anxiety that is coming from this. Although this coping mechanism helped you at one point in your life, it is crucial to work on this pattern to repress memories and to work on the repressed memory itself so you can move on in your life into new happier fields. It isn’t true that you don’t remember, because our memories show up every day in our reactions to daily life and in our interactions with others. We just have to learn what these reactions want to tell us by using our present moment emotions that are coming up when we are triggered and our body experiences we have in this moment to find the origin of the memories.
When I say that if someone says they had a happy childhood it is not true, I mean that when you actually had a happy childhood you have no need to point it out. When you point out that you had a happy childhood, it is usual that people tell themselves they had a happy childhood and either don’t remember or repressed their memories in some way. It is not about making you feel bad about your childhood but it is about a more realistic approach to your childhood. No need for self-pity. It is just nobody had a perfect childhood and being aware that you had good times and bad times can help you be true to yourself. I am sure everyone had genuinely good times, keep them in your memory. But also include the ones that you don’t really like. They make you to the person you are. Once we embrace all our facets we can actually become the person we are meant to be and find our true passion and the things we are good at. You will be surprised how all these bad facets you don’t like make you amazingly good at something only you can do.
I can help you find the origins of the memories. Just contact me and we work on this together with the angels and the guides.
Physical Symptoms
All physical symptoms have a psychosomatic origin.
Trauma doesn’t only affect the mind, it can actually also manifest in the physical body as mind and body are deeply connected. The pioneering neuroscientist Candace Pert wrote in her 1997 book, Molecules of Emotion. “I’ve come to believe that virtually all illness, if not psychosomatic in foundation, has a definite psychosomatic component.” Today she is by far not the only one saying this and I couldn’t agree more. You can always go to the bottom of a physical symptom and find out what it wants to tell you. Also, trauma can lead to physical symptoms and can end in illness if you are not taking care of your emotional and spiritual health. I urge every person to deal with their issues as quickly as possible to no physical symptoms have to arise to show you what you are ignoring. This is what physical symptoms are, they are just another way of showing us what we are ignoring. Trauma can lead to various physical symptoms. Whatever physical symptom arises, talk to this physical symptom as a part of you, don’t externalize it, and just ask this part what it wants to tell you. Listen carefully. You will be surprised how clear the answers are. Just trust the process and the flow. Hereafter you find a list of typical physical symptoms:
- chronic pain, headaches, back and neck and joint pain;
- muscle tension, especially around the hip, this is where trauma usually sits;
- sleep disturbances and fatigue, insomnia, nightmares, restless sleep, chronic fatigue;
- digestive issues, irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), stomachaches, nausea, overeating or loss of appetite;
- Increased heart rate and breathing problems, rapid heartbeat, shallow or rapid breathing, shortness of breath, chest tightness;
- involuntary shaking, particularly in stressful situations;
- teeth grinding, clenched jaw;
- tight shoulders;
- Dizziness;
- Skin problems, rashes acne, sweating;
- Weakened immune system;
- Sexual dysfunction;
- Numbness or tingling sensations;
Trauma in Relationships
Trauma can have a profound impact on your relationships.
Past trauma, if it is not processed or healed in one way or another, can impact how you interact with others, how you perceive love, and how you trust and manage conflicts. All relationships can suffer when trauma is not healed, the romantic relationships, family relationships, and friendships.
Trauma can show up in several ways in a relationship:
- You have difficulty opening up or trusting others, you fear betrayal (a fear that comes either of past betrayal or abandonment or both), you are testing others to see if they deserve your trust;
- You cannot regulate your emotions, you show intense emotional reactions, have difficulty showing vulnerability, you overreact to small issues;
- you fear abandonment or rejection, are depending on the other person excessively, you are clinging to the other person, you are self-sabotaging a relationship by pushing the other person away;
- you have difficulty with intimacy.
I help you work on yourself.
Childhood Trauma Test
Childhood Trauma Self-Assessment
Instructions: This is a self-assessment to help reflect on potential experiences of childhood trauma. There are no right or wrong answers, and some questions might be difficult or emotional to answer. Take your time and answer as honestly as possible. If you are struggling, don’t proceed in testing, you’ve got your answer already. If your answer of the self-assessment is that you have a childhood trauma, please reach out for professional help, this can be me or anybody else. Also, reach out to a doctor.
This test is not diagnostic. It is only intended to help you identify areas that could be further explored with a professional.
Section 1: Emotional and Psychological Experiences
Did you experience a loss of a caregiver or someone close to you during childhood (e.g., death, separation, divorce)?
Yes / No
Were you physically, emotionally, or sexually abused by someone during your childhood?
Yes / No
Were you neglected emotionally or physically (e.g., left alone for long periods, not receiving enough care or attention)?
Yes / No
Did you witness or experience violence in the home (e.g., domestic violence, substance abuse, physical altercations)?
Yes / No
Did you feel that your emotional or physical needs were neglected or dismissed by your caregivers?
Yes / No
Did you experience feelings of extreme fear or anxiety growing up (e.g., fear of abandonment, fear of being harmed)?
Yes / No
Were you often punished harshly or unfairly, or did you live in an environment where you felt unsafe or threatened?
Yes / No
Did you feel unloved or unwanted during childhood?
Yes / No
Did you ever feel like you couldn’t talk to your caregivers about your feelings or problems?
Yes / No
Did you experience any form of bullying or peer victimization (e.g., verbal, physical bullying, exclusion)?
Yes / No
Section 2: Behavioral and Social Effects
Did you often feel isolated or withdrawn from your peers or family members as a child?
Yes / No
Did you have difficulty trusting others, especially caregivers or authority figures, during your childhood?
Yes / No
Did you struggle with self-esteem or self-worth as a child (e.g., feeling not good enough, shameful, or unworthy)?
Yes / No
Did you find it hard to form healthy relationships with friends or family as you grew up?
Yes / No
Did you have a tendency to act out, become aggressive, or show defiant behavior during childhood?
Yes / No
Did you frequently feel sad, lonely, or hopeless during your childhood years?
Yes / No
Were you afraid to express emotions, such as crying or anger, for fear of judgment or retaliation?
Yes / No
Did you use substances (e.g., alcohol, drugs) at an early age to cope with emotional pain or stress?
Yes / No
Did you struggle with maintaining focus or concentration at school or home?
Yes / No
Did you experience major disruptions in your family life (e.g., frequent moves, a change in caregivers)?
Yes / No
Section 3: Physical and Somatic Effects
Did you experience unexplained physical symptoms as a child (e.g., headaches, stomachaches, fatigue)?
Yes / No
Did you have frequent nightmares or trouble sleeping as a child?
Yes / No
Did you have trouble regulating your emotions as a child (e.g., frequent outbursts of anger or sadness)?
Yes / No
Did you experience frequent feelings of nervousness or tension in your body as a child (e.g., muscle tension, racing heart)?
Yes / No
Did you engage in self-harming behaviors as a child (e.g., cutting, hitting, pulling hair)?
Yes / No
Scoring & Interpretation
This test is meant to identify potential signs of childhood trauma. If you answered yes to several of the questions, it may suggest that childhood trauma was a part of your experience. However, this is not a diagnostic tool.
What to Do Next:
Reflect: Think about the experiences you’ve had and how they might have affected your mental and emotional health. If you’re finding it hard to process these reflections alone, the guides and the angels will help you to do it with you. I will translate for you. Please, if you are in any way not feeling well after this test, seek professional help. I am here for you to work through every experience that is somehow stuck with you. There are not tabus, there is no wrong or bad, there is only help you can seek. I can be this help for you if you want. But it can also be anybody else. Just make sure the help you are reaching out to is someone you feel comfortable with. Someone where you can let go.
Everyone’s experience with trauma is unique, and healing is possible with the right support.
Overcoming Childhood Trauma
Trauma limits our response flexibility and with this takes away our freedom. We can get our freedom back by working on our response to triggers.
Human freedom involves our capacity to choose our response. When people are traumatized, they lose this flexibility and lose their freedom to response. They feel trapped in their own life and feel they have no choice than move on like they did so far. However, this is not the solution, as you probably know already.
A good way to start is to journal and find out and acknowledge your traumas. Recognize how they changed you. Being conscious of your traumas is probably the most important and most difficult step to overcome trauma. Because in this state there is a lot of denial and it is hard to access your truth. Once you are conscious about your traumas you will see that you flow better through the other steps to overcome trauma.
There is not one way to overcome trauma. I name you a few ways you can get there, find your own way:
- do somatic exercises. It helps you to find your way back to your body. To actually feel your body and being aware of your body is a crucial part of overcoming trauma as, you know, trauma disconnects you from your body.
- EMDR can be an interesting form of therapy to look at. EMDR means movement desensitization and reprocessing.
- be gentle with you on the way and practice self-love, loving yourself can be hard.
- include a practice of mindfulness or meditation or breathing exercises, so you don’t lose and actually build up a connection to yourself on the way.
- Learn to say no as childhood trauma is often connected to not being good in creating your own boundaries it is crucial to learn to say no. And, also, you can learn to not be everybody’s darling by saying no. Saying no is sometimes about saying yes to yourself.
- work on your sleep. We heal during sleep, work on a proper rest so you can heal.
- work on new goals so you know what you are aiming for. Releasing trauma sets you free and gives room to pursue your dreams. You create a space where you are the master of your own creations. Use it and have fun!
Quotes
“Trauma is not what happened to us, but what happened inside us as a result.” – Gabor Maté, The Myth of Normal
“Unless we can measure something, science won’t concede it exists, which is why science refuses to deal with such “nonthings” as the emotions, the mind, the soul, or the spirit.” – Candace Pert, Ph.D., Molecules of Emotions
“It is hard to imagine the scope of an individual life without envisioning some kind of trauma, and it is hard for most people to know what to do about it.” – Mark Epstein, The Trauma of Everyday Life
“All trauma is preverbal,” - Bessel van der Kolk
“Conscious, explicit memory is only the proverbial tip of a very deep and mighty iceberg. It barely hints at the submerged strata of primal implicit experience that moves us in ways the conscious mind can only begin to imagine.” - Peter Levine
“Trauma is perhaps the most avoided, ignored, belittled, denied, misunderstood, and untreated cause of human suffering.” – Peter Levine
“Certainly, all traumatic events are stressful, but not all stressful events are traumatic.” – Peter Levine
“Once somebody has invaded you and entered you, your body is no longer yours,” the writer V, formerly known as Eve Ensler, told me, recalling her sexual abuse by her father as a young girl. “It’s a landscape of dread and betrayal and sorrow and cruelty. The last place you want to be is in your body. And so, you begin to live in your head, you begin to live up here without any ability to protect your body, to know your body. I had a tumor the size of an avocado inside me, and I didn’t know it – that’s how separated I was from myself.” – Gabor Maté, The Myth of Normal
“So much of what makes people either well or not is not coming from within themselves, it’s coming from their circumstances. It makes me think much more about social justice and the bigger issues that go beyond individuals.” – Elizabeth Blackburn, Ph.D.
“Ultimately your greatest gift to the world is being who you are – both your gift and your fulfilment.” – A.H.Almaas, Being and the Meaning of Life